lost

Okay, this will be my first emotional post ever. I don't know, but I kinda feel soo lost today, i feel different than i used to feel. i used to feel cheerful, happy, silly, take everything easily. now, i don't.

it's not because i've just seen this movie, 500 days of summer which told me about moving on after breaking up.

well i guess, i'm right now, feeling exactly the same way as tom, from the movie, does. it felt so right at the first time, it felt so fine, i felt very happy, it's like the happiest day of my life everytime i met HIM. i was so sure, this guy, is going to be my first and the last of my life. from the bottom of my heart, until this very last second, i still love him, very much. and i miss him, like tooo baaaaddddd.

i'm recalling our happy time together, it's all perfect, and beautiful. i really wanna go back there, back to our happy times, but all i can do is imagining it. the fact that i can't makes me feel darn sad. because, i'm a type of girl, who really really really bad, at getting over someone. it'll feel like, i have just lost my loved ones.

i'm crying, crazily, loudly, miserably.

december 30th, 2009

but thennn, i realize, that this love feelings is not that perfect. even from the beginning. if this is meant to be, i mean if this is really going to a happy ending, i will be sure ! well, i'm pretty much unsure about this

and yes, i am single now, eventually. i broke up :'(. our almost 2 years relationship, ended. i felt relief yet disastrous at the moment. we ended up right before new year's eve. this is shocking me a lot, because i broke up for the shitty problems under this growing love. there's nobody to blame, but situations. but i think this is the best thing for us.

god, i hope i can move on real quick :)

godspeed.

 :)